The Around The Dinner Table online forum has been empowering and supporting parents since 2004: offering a 24 hour sounding board for thousands of users. This month we are holding our first annual "Plate Drive" as a fundraiser for our organization. By adding your personal messages to these plates -- created for this project by our graphic designer, Liana Mensh -- you become part of the the legacy of this organization. Your donation of at least $1 (US) for each word on the plate helps us keep the forum and F.E.A.S.T. going. We are a frugal organization - staffed by volunteers and using donated office space and materials - but need donations to pay for expenses like Internet services, telephone, insurance, and travel. By supporting this organization you show us what having this forum means to you and your family.
Anyone can participate: invite your friends and extended family to join in. Make your message anonymous or use your name. Be funny or serious. Use three words or (up to) 50. We want to hear from you and we want to include you!
Ready to add your plate?
Showing posts with label Laura Collins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laura Collins. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Huffington Post: What The Eating Disorder World Wants Mrs. Obama To Know by Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh
A great response from Laura Collins to First Lady Michelle Obama's interview confession that she put her daughters on diets.
In the eating disorders world, putting any child on a diet is not only unacceptable but appalling.
In the eating disorders world, a father referring to his child as "chubby" and commenting on her eating habits is not only frowned upon it is reviled.
In the eating disorder world a mother who felt her children were "perfect" should not be corrected by a doctor who points to the children's weight as altering that.
In the eating disorders world it is well-known and embraced that healthy children rapidly gain weight as they approach puberty.
In the eating disorders world it is understood that dieting is an unhealthy behavior, that healthy weight is whatever one's body ends up with when they are behaviorally and mentally healthy - a wide range of body shapes and sizes. Average weight people can be unhealthy, and non-average weight people can be healthy.
Behaviors, not weight, are appropriate health goals.
But OUTSIDE the eating disorder world none of the above is true. In fact, most people believe the opposite on every single point, and are not aware of any other way to think or that the science supports all of the above. I am sucker-punched to read that our First Family put their daughters on a "diet" because they feared "obesity" and no doubt will be lauded for it.
This is not an eating disorder issue, however, and it should not be only us who know this and speak out about it. These are medical, social, and ultimately self-defeating errors in thinking that do harm to all children and all of us. I am very sad today.
In the eating disorders world, putting any child on a diet is not only unacceptable but appalling.
In the eating disorders world, a father referring to his child as "chubby" and commenting on her eating habits is not only frowned upon it is reviled.
In the eating disorder world a mother who felt her children were "perfect" should not be corrected by a doctor who points to the children's weight as altering that.
In the eating disorders world it is well-known and embraced that healthy children rapidly gain weight as they approach puberty.
In the eating disorders world it is understood that dieting is an unhealthy behavior, that healthy weight is whatever one's body ends up with when they are behaviorally and mentally healthy - a wide range of body shapes and sizes. Average weight people can be unhealthy, and non-average weight people can be healthy.
Behaviors, not weight, are appropriate health goals.
But OUTSIDE the eating disorder world none of the above is true. In fact, most people believe the opposite on every single point, and are not aware of any other way to think or that the science supports all of the above. I am sucker-punched to read that our First Family put their daughters on a "diet" because they feared "obesity" and no doubt will be lauded for it.
This is not an eating disorder issue, however, and it should not be only us who know this and speak out about it. These are medical, social, and ultimately self-defeating errors in thinking that do harm to all children and all of us. I am very sad today.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
My Favorite ED Recovery Related Blogs
Since the year is coming to a close, I thought I'd provide you all with links to my top 5 favorite ED Recovery blogs.
Are you "Eating With Your Anorexic?"
The blog by Laura Collins. Laura is the author of Eating with your Anorexic, moderator of the Around the Dinner Table forum, and founder of FEAST.
Blogxygen
Written by the lovey Brie! Brie, I love reading your blog and wish you and your family the best as you work on your recovery *hugs*
Eating Disorder Hope
This blog is has the absolute best contests each month! I was the lucky winner of Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life by Jenni Schaefer this year. They also provided me with some great stuff for my school packets.
Eating Disorders Coalition News and Information
The absolute best blog for following ED related legislation in Washington, D.C. I have lobbied with the EDC for three of the past four years, and can't wait to make my fourth lobby day this year!
Feed Me!
This is the blog by Harriet Brown, a very sweet lady. She is the author of Feed Me!: Writers Dish About Food, Eating, Weight, and Body Image, one of the books I hope to profile here next year.
Are you "Eating With Your Anorexic?"
The blog by Laura Collins. Laura is the author of Eating with your Anorexic, moderator of the Around the Dinner Table forum, and founder of FEAST.
Blogxygen
Written by the lovey Brie! Brie, I love reading your blog and wish you and your family the best as you work on your recovery *hugs*
Eating Disorder Hope
This blog is has the absolute best contests each month! I was the lucky winner of Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life by Jenni Schaefer this year. They also provided me with some great stuff for my school packets.
Eating Disorders Coalition News and Information
The absolute best blog for following ED related legislation in Washington, D.C. I have lobbied with the EDC for three of the past four years, and can't wait to make my fourth lobby day this year!
Feed Me!
This is the blog by Harriet Brown, a very sweet lady. She is the author of Feed Me!: Writers Dish About Food, Eating, Weight, and Body Image, one of the books I hope to profile here next year.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Two college seasons - one rant: By Laura Collins
The ED world is buzzing with the same chat that always goes on in August: parents and clinicians looking for referrals to eating disorder treatment for a student leaving for college. These emails, listing symptoms and medical state, break my heart. They often use the word "motivated" and "charming" as if patients need to be pleasing in order to garner a clinician's attention.
It all begs the question: Why would a student with an active eating disorder be going to college? Really - I'm serious. I don't understand why this is acceptable. This is a life-sucking, potentially disabling or lethal illness: an anosognosic condition that thrives on secrecy and freedom from monitoring.
I know the tremendous pressure on parents by social expectations, by the young person's insistence that everything will be all right and that this is all he or she "lives for." I know the guilt and disempowerment of being told by professional advisers that we must 'let go.' I also know parents just get tired, and our egos get involved in the accomplishments of our children.
But you know what? We're parents, and that is a lifelong position. We have a right and a responsibility to do what is right for our child according to our unique and loving judgement. No one can tell us (and no one will take responsibility later) whether college is safe or advisable.
I put my money where my mouth is on this one: my daughter relapsed slightly after her freshman year and we withdrew support for college until she was not just well but quite well. She did not like that. We did not like doing it. But I believe it was our job to do it, and her longterm health and recovery depended on it. When she was ready, she went back and thrived (and had a treatment team for maintenance).
I've dealt with two universities as a parent - neither were in a position to protect or support my daughter's mental health. They said they could and would, but that isn't realistic. Looking back I don't know why I entertained the idea that they could. This is not diabetes or a vision problem where the patient is motivated and able to reliably self-monitor. Schools are not parents.
No team of providers on or off campus is going to be able to provide the kind of accountability and monitoring and personal support that a parent provides and an eating disorder patient deserves. No one at the dorm is going to watch out for or call the parents of a student unless the situation is so far gone that irreparable damage is done. We can't expect it and we can't get angry that they don't do it.
If you are not 100% confident of your child's recovery, committed to staying in the picture more than your child and school may like, ready to visit frequently, and have an expert team in place and in communication then why is college more important? If you feel pressured, or exhausted, or trapped, keep this in mind:
During November break is when I get the most emails and calls - from families who now realize their hand-wringing worries were well-founded and a shaky recovery is now an derailing relapse.
Recovery - full recovery - first. School can wait.
It all begs the question: Why would a student with an active eating disorder be going to college? Really - I'm serious. I don't understand why this is acceptable. This is a life-sucking, potentially disabling or lethal illness: an anosognosic condition that thrives on secrecy and freedom from monitoring.
I know the tremendous pressure on parents by social expectations, by the young person's insistence that everything will be all right and that this is all he or she "lives for." I know the guilt and disempowerment of being told by professional advisers that we must 'let go.' I also know parents just get tired, and our egos get involved in the accomplishments of our children.
But you know what? We're parents, and that is a lifelong position. We have a right and a responsibility to do what is right for our child according to our unique and loving judgement. No one can tell us (and no one will take responsibility later) whether college is safe or advisable.
I put my money where my mouth is on this one: my daughter relapsed slightly after her freshman year and we withdrew support for college until she was not just well but quite well. She did not like that. We did not like doing it. But I believe it was our job to do it, and her longterm health and recovery depended on it. When she was ready, she went back and thrived (and had a treatment team for maintenance).
I've dealt with two universities as a parent - neither were in a position to protect or support my daughter's mental health. They said they could and would, but that isn't realistic. Looking back I don't know why I entertained the idea that they could. This is not diabetes or a vision problem where the patient is motivated and able to reliably self-monitor. Schools are not parents.
No team of providers on or off campus is going to be able to provide the kind of accountability and monitoring and personal support that a parent provides and an eating disorder patient deserves. No one at the dorm is going to watch out for or call the parents of a student unless the situation is so far gone that irreparable damage is done. We can't expect it and we can't get angry that they don't do it.
If you are not 100% confident of your child's recovery, committed to staying in the picture more than your child and school may like, ready to visit frequently, and have an expert team in place and in communication then why is college more important? If you feel pressured, or exhausted, or trapped, keep this in mind:
During November break is when I get the most emails and calls - from families who now realize their hand-wringing worries were well-founded and a shaky recovery is now an derailing relapse.
Recovery - full recovery - first. School can wait.
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